Racism is a sensitive topic as it can be triggering and uncomfortable to talk about. However, it is something I feel I need to share my experience about in order to process and advocate for myself in the future. After having a conversation about racism in class a few weeks ago, I started to analyze my past experiences where I have felt uncomfortable being myself.
During my childhood, there were times when I felt embarrassed about my culture, language and background. When my grandpa would come to school to pick up my siblings and I for lunch or afterschool, I would get embarrassed as he wore a turban. I’d make gestures to my grandpa to walk ahead of us as I did not want to be seen with him. Around the school I’d always hear comments about turbans, people making fun of it so naturally, as a child, I was cautious about disassociating myself from my culture. Some of those feelings of being made fun of my background still stuck with me in high-school as I would often still feel uncomfortable taking my grandpa to the store when I got my license. It is unfortunate as I reflect now, feeling guilt and shame for treating my grandpa with disrespect. As I began University, when I used to come back home, I started realizing that I had lost out on years of connecting with my grandpa due to feeling embarrassed of being around my family. After that, I stopped caring about what people walking by me were thinking. I started focusing on building my relationship with my grandpa.
Some students around my school would make jokes about “Bindi’s” a small dot sticker worn in between the eyebrows with traditional East Indian clothing. As a result, it made me hesitant to ever share about my traditional clothing that I wore to weddings and parties. It took my years to become comfortable talking about traditional clothing however, now I love dressing up for weddings and sharing the various types of outfits I wear!
There were a few jobs where my co-workers made comments about my name being hard to pronounce. Instead of making an effort to practice it, they asked if I had a nickname. I felt obligated to share “Opi” my name condensed. A nickname I once liked hearing occasionally however, grew to hate over time as it seemed to replace my real name. Some staff made comments like “oh that’s so much easier” “way better”. In those moments I’d always laugh and cover up my annoyance. Sometimes I wouldn’t even know I was irritated by those comments until processing the day, days later thinking about these encounters. For two years, at Claro where I worked in Kelowna, staff and students referred to me as “Opi”. It wasn’t until the admin staff started to write “Opi” on written documents. It was then that I started to feel frustrated and upset. Finally in the beginning of my third year there, I advocated that I would like to be called Opinder. I got some surprising looks and comments like “oh did something happen?” I shared that I rather be called by my full name. If we can be flexible and accommodating for our students when they want to be called particular names then I think it is important for staff to be treated with the same respect. There were some staff who were very supportive however, there was one staff member who kept making comments for a few months “it’ll take me a while to get use to this” and would still refer to me as “Opi” without correcting herself. I found it odd that majority of the staff were able to switch it back to Opinder so easily and a couple kept saying “Opi” as if it was convenient for them. I should not have to cater to others and I am proud of myself for advocating. Although, it took a long time, I think the hatred towards my nickname started to build over those two years to the point where I finally was able to speak up. I love my name and I am proud of my ethnic background. Going forward I hope to speak out sooner and in the moment. I refuse to feel powerless in uncomfortable situations.
I was reading a book- You Are The Medicine by Asha Frost and I came upon a chapter that talked about allies and accomplices in social justice. “An ally defined as someone from a dominate or majority group who is working to end oppression by supporting marginalized communities. They acknowledge that they carry privilege and power”. An accomplice however, is defined a someone who takes steps to disrupt the harmful narrative of white supremacy while actively seeking solutions and actin on them”. (Frost, 2022). This made me think about racism and how there are ally’s and accomplices when there are discussions about race. For example an ally may support with validation and words of comfort regarding race however, an accomplice may analyze their own privilege.
